Finding a guide to professional life

Not just anyone makes a good mentor

Teacher, coach, expert, guru -- whatever the label, a carefully selected mentor can be an excellent career resource.

A good mentor can be a tremendous asset for individuals who are looking for a little help with the learning curve at a new job, new position or new career. But finding a knowledgeable and helpful mentor and maintaining a positive mentoring relationship is not as easy as it sounds.

"The whole mentoring thing is a double-edged sword," said John Fennig, CEO of DRI Consulting in Edina. The upside is that individuals are taking the initiative in bettering themselves. The downside is that by asking for help, they break society's mythical code of self-sufficiency, Fennig said. The truth is that there are no truly self-made people. Just about everyone who has made it to the top can point to people throughout his or career who helped them along the way, he said.

Rising stars in the corporate world are recognizing the correlation between soaking up knowledge from a mentor and reaching higher levels of compensation and more promotions, said Fran Sepler, president of Sepler & Associates Inc., an organizational consulting company in St. Paul. Of 1,200 top managers in Fortune 500 firms, two-thirds say that they utilized mentoring relationships at some point in their careers, Sepler said.

The Minneapolis law firm of Oppenheimer, Wolff & Donnelly has stepped up its efforts to encourage mentoring relationships in the past two years because of the positive effects that mentors have on productivity and turnover, said David Potter, a partner and member of the firm's managing committee. Individuals need to look for a mentor who will be proactive in both criticism and support, and will be more challenging in helping them reach a goal, he said.

Oppenheimer associates often work with one or more of the firm's partners in a mentoring relationship to help them develop skills. Litigators, for example, will make sure that the co-workers they advise are climbing the right steps in their career, such as taking depositions, attending hearings and trials and making client presentations.

"The most successful mentoring relationships are ones that develop by circumstance," Sepler said. The mentor usually is in a position to advise, and that mentoring relationship may develop naturally with one person willing to help and the other person looking for that help. Although sometimes two people can find a mentor relationship that just "clicks," the selection process usually is a little more involved, Sepler said.

The biggest priority is finding a mentor who has the time, personality and talent to educate. "As trite as it sounds, people need to pick a mentor that wants to be picked," Sepler said. Mentoring itself is a demanding long-term relationship, she said, and not all people are willing to commit to that.

Avoid picking a mentor just because he or she may be the person you like the best, Potter said. Those corporate friends are better utilized for their peer support and day-to-day help in navigating through a company. The challenge is to pick someone who will be able to provide creative criticism, he said.

The majority of people are drawn to mentors who are similar in age, gender, race and experience. Often those similar traits are beneficial in establishing common ground and a comfort level. But while that may be a safe choice, it may not always be the most beneficial choice. It often is more advantageous to have a mentor who will bring a new perspective to the relationship.

An ideal age difference in a mentoring relationship is about 15 years, Sepler said. That half-generation gap targets mentors who have significantly greater experience, yet are not so much older that they have forgotten what it's like to be just starting out, she said. In addition, that age difference also ensures that there is no risk of competition between the mentor and advisee.

Look beyond your immediate supervisor., who already should be giving you feedback on day-to-day operations. Problems may arise because of that close daily contact, as well as because of the fact that you are directly accountable to the supervisor and the supervisor is indirectly accountable for you. A mentor who has power over you for hiring and firing would limit your ability to raise problems and concerns, Sepler said.

Good mentors can be found by looking laterally at people within your own department or at managers in other departments. Individuals also can seek mentors outside the firm at a related but non-competing company within the same industry, Sepler said.

Assembling a group of mentors is another option. Some companies even establish small, interactive mentoring groups with a mix of company veterans and newer employees.

Once the mentor is selected, both parties need to outline what they expect from the relationship. One of the biggest mistakes that people make is not using the relationship to its full potential. Individuals should use the mentor only to help with long-term development such as intelligent analysis of work and assistance in establishing contacts and networking, Fennig said.

Another common pitfall is relying solely on one mentor. Being associated too closely with only one person is bad networking and gives the mentor far too much power over your career, Fennig said. "The danger is hitching your wagon too tightly to one horse. Strategic people plant multiple seeds."